I was just on a group coaching call and one of my clients was struggling with birthing a new project asked when does the fear and discomfort go away?
I think that some believe that when you have “arrived” all fear and discomfort disappear and you begin to fly through your projects with ease and grace. On the contrary, with each new goal, the universe presents yet another set of first time challenges for us to face.
Sometimes it feels like you are going in circles and facing the same challenge from a different angle. The shame spiral sets in and all of a sudden you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed. What’s the shame spiral? That place you go to when your deadline has passed and you missed it. That seedy dive that you go to and kick yourself. Bleh.
To accomplish your dreams sometimes you have to go through the ego, pass the shame spiral to get to the other side. But what if we could leap frog that seedy dive and stay the course on our upward climb?
You get to the finish line when you learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. When you learn how to breathe through the uncomfortable steps. Break it down into teeny tiny steps. Just keep moving forward. Be kind to yourself and soon you will be standing on the top of the mountain.
Sometimes when I am working on a very big goal, I go into my “cave” to work it out. I turn off the phone, the computer and any distractions to journal about it. Sit with it. Sigh with it. Cry with it. Sometimes I even write a song about it. Its vitally important to work through the fear and uneasiness.
For some of you a massage, a walk on the beach, a hike, a run or a brisk walk may help. The important thing is to move through it. To work through it. It also helps if you are part of a mastermind group where you are safe to share your experience and ask for support. It’s very uncomfortable and very lonely sometimes when you push through barriers. It’s very unnerving to blaze an unbeaten path. Then you reach your goal, plateau and start partying and enjoying your landing spot. GUESS WHAT? The inner urge to do something else appears. And you guessed it, it’s time to do it again and again and again.
Does it ever get easier? Absolutely, the more you do, the more you grow. You then realize that this is the pattern of creation and you begin to embrace it instead of shun it. Tell yourself that this is part of it and know that you will nail it. So here are 10 steps to getting to the finish line.
1. Write down your goals
We have all heard from several sources that if you write down your goal you have a greater chance of achieving it. In the book The Strangest Secret Earl Nightingale notes that when you write down a goal the neurotransmitters in your brain began to send signals out to the universe to help you achieve this goal. Write it on a 3×5 index card. On the front write your goal. On the back write
- knock and the door will open
- seek and you shall find
- ask and it is given
Keep this card with you in your wallet or if you work from home in a place that you will see it often. Look at it and read it several times throughout the day.
2. Visualize It
Sit for 5 minutes or more each day and visualize your goal as complete already. Feel the feeling of having accomplished it. Revel in those feelings. What do you look like, feel like? If this is a piece of art, imagine what it feels like when it has been sold. If you are a book author, imagine what it feels like holding your finished book in your hands, signing it at your book signing. If you are a songwriter imagine someone singing your song. If you are a chef, imagine people smiling and enjoying your food or if you are a designer, imagine people happily strutting around in your clothes.
3. Vision Board It
Vision Boards work. I can’t tell you enough how badly I want you to get in this practice. They work. Get a poster board from your office supply store a stack of magazines and put together a collage of your goals. If a poster board seems too big, get a notebook and use the pages of the notebook.
Make sure that there is a photo of you surrounded by images of what your finish goal looks like. Some ask if they can do it electronically. Absolutely. Whatever works for you but make it and use it. Look at it everyday. It will amaze you how quickly things start coming your way. I made a vision board one day and two days later had to do it all over again because I had manifested half the board already.
4. Bullet Proof It!
Decide that your goal is bullet proof. Decide this right now. In your core. Decide that you will not allow any comments or actions of others deter you from your goal. There is a song called Bulletproof by La Roux that I sing in my head anytime something or someone comes at me with unwanted comments or concerns. I change the words in my head and I hum… This goal baby is…bulletproof.
5. Kick Doubt OUT!
There is no room for doubt in your goal. Doubt is the evil twin, the evil step sister, Freddy Krueger, Jason and Mike Meyers all rolled into one. Do not give doubt 1 minute of your time. He is there to do you harm.
The thing about doubt is, its so sneaky. It creeps in when you aren’t paying attention or when you are frustrated or angry about something else. So consciously watch yourself for frustration, anger, or any other feelings of ick. Doubt is always on the look out waiting for the perfect moment to attack. When you are on target and working towards your goal put doubt out of it’s misery early. Break it’s neck.
Have you ever noticed that when you are working on a goal all hell starts breaking loose around you? You think oh it’s Murphy’s law or Mercury is in retrograde.
No it’s your fear running around and looking for any distraction it can find to prolong the start or completion of your goal. Your fear has sent out homing beacons saying hey I’m scared to death over here. Help me, Help me.
Then the universe says okay let me help this person that I love so much by slowing down the progress before they have a heart attack. When you do this, over and over again before your deadline the shame spiral kicks in.
When you are focussing keep a piece of paper next to you to write down the distractions and deal with them after your focus session is over. If its people in your home that are the distractors, have a talk with them and put some sign on your door that lets everyone know that you are in do not disturb mode.
7. Hire Out
Stop doing things that give you stress and headaches. Stop being so stubborn. Hire/Barter/Trade out all of the things that you hate doing. I am not good at ironing. I suck at it, I do not iron. If something comes out of the dryer winkled, it goes right into the dry cleaning box. I also suck at editing. You will not find me editing any of my music, video or audio files.
I suck at bookkeeping, My bookkeeper is the best money I have ever spent in my life. I also don’t do admin work, you will find if you join any of our mastermind groups that someone on my team will send you the materials. Now I focus on only what I do best.
I spent years thinking that I should be great at everything and beating myself up mercilessly for failing to rock every role of being an entrepreneur. One day as I was sitting at my desk going through a pile of papers and an angel on my shoulder said…”you’re a horrible secretary”. I laughed, I hired a secretary and a bookkeeper poof! headache gone, papers sorted, bills paid. Bam! back on point.
8. Prepare Your Soundtrack
Over the years I have had my share of ups and downs and on those days when I’m more down than up I play my success soundtrack. It’s a list of songs that inspire me and Pump me up. These songs put me right back in the frame of mind that I need to stay the course. Its amazing the healing property that music has on the soul. Prepare your soundtrack now so its ready when you need it. Here’s a song I wrote and recorded called Free to get you started.
9. Have Fun
This is your Life’s Work. You love what you do. You love serving people. It was that love that brought you to create what you are creating. I do believe that if you do what you love the money will come. When you do what you love, you know in your heart that you would do it for free. You would do it for free because it gives you so much joy.
How fortunate are you that you get to do what you love for a living? You live in a an age of unlimited possibilities. What you love to do and would do for free, brings people happiness. What a life! It’s usually the little things that take the joy out of your goal. Hire out what gives you headaches and keep moving full steam ahead.
10. Have Faith
There is no greater friend than faith. Faith will see you through to the end. When you have a connection with something greater than yourself it becomes your commanding officer when you are in the heat of battle with Doubt and the balm that soothes when the war is over. Faith gives you wings to fly higher than you have ever gone before and takes your dreams to places that you could never imagine. Faith is worthy of BFF status.
Lets Connect…Share Below how you stay on track with your goals